so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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