It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
