Betty ford says i'm here all night
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize