yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
