Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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