I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
