So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
