I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you would pick up someone in the library
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
