Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
