watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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