Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
