Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
