Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
