U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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