Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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