...so i touched it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
