I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
you had me at cake vodka
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Randomize
