walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
