Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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