We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
