I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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