so that wasnt chicken after all
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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