He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
