I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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