You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
