I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
