I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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