The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
