yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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