My first STD was from a foam party
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
