So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I party with great urgency now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
