when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
