Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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