I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
