I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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