WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
