Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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