If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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