I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
