Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
