the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
