Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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