I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
