Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
