I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
