You really coming over, don't trick.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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