i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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