Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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