I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
