I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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